Michael is from Newcastle, and his strong Geordie accent is a source of much confusion for Alan. Like Alan, Michael has a neurotic personality and tends to make social faux pas, albeit less embarrassing ones. Despite appearing relatively harmless and kindhearted, Michael is a former military man who is prone to well-meaning but highly inappropriate displays of machismo. He has travelled to a wide range of places with the army, including Manilla, Hong Kong, Bangkok and Belize, and his experiences as a soldier have undoubtedly exacerbated his disturbed personality, which is evidenced by him tearing at his hair behind the Travel Tavern and his fantasy description of how he would machine-gun a "mate" to death from a helicopter and then fly into the sea.
Michael married a Thai woman, who now lives in Sunderland with his brother.
Reduced to menial jobs, he is chipper and eager to fulfil his employment duties. In private, and when drunk, Michael is angry and despairing of his life. Arguably, he is acutely aware of his deficient intellect. Michael does, however, have four friends who regularly visit the petrol station to chat to him, including Alan and Tex. Alan temporarily renounced their friendship and stopped visiting the BP garage when he discovered Michael's friendship with Tex.
Alan is simultaneously patronising towards Michael and in awkward awe of his hard-as-nails working-class background and military experiences.
Michael was hired as a security guard at North Norfolk Digital. He was last seen jumping off Cromer Pier and was confirmed dead by Alan in his newest book, 'Nomad'.